Team Canada runs out of Gatorade

Canada’s run of five straight World Junior Hockey Championships is over after a 6-5 overtime loss to the rival Americans on Tuesday night. Despite another Jordanesque performance by Eberle (scoring twice to erase a 5-3 deficit), Canada came up short. Was it poor goaltending? Was the American team just that good? Was coach Desjardins’ immaculate moustache too damn distracting? Or, as new reports claim, did Canada just run out of Gatorade in overtime?

You all know the commercial. It starts by flashing the logo “Gatorade Sports Science Institute” across the screen, cuts to highlights of past Canadian World Junior glory, then let’s the members of Team Canada do the talking. Nazem Kadri, Ryan Ellis, Marco Scandella and Travis Hamonic all take their turn telling you just how important proper hydration is. For good measure, a doctor from Guelph is thrown in. All the while, messages like this one scroll across the screen, “The carbohydrates in Gatorade help fuel the brain and muscles which is key to making split second decisions.”

Yes, this could possibly be the most effective commercial of all-time. No way a kid watching this doesn’t come away with the message, “I need to drink Gatorade to make Canada’s World Junior team.” I mean, all the commercial was missing was a shot of Taylor Hall bathing in the stuff.

And you know those guys aren’t receiving a dime from Gatorade. All money goes straight to Hockey Canada. After all, developing new talent costs money. Endorsements like Gatorade help pay the bills. But, for all the talk about how NCAA athletes should be getting paid for making their colleges rich through tournaments such as March Madness and BCS Bowl games, little has been made of the obscene amounts of money Hockey Canada, TSN and advertisers are making off the World Junior Tournament.

Of course, it’s not about money. Every kid in that tournament will tell you it’s about playing for your country, it’s about winning, it’s about “the heart, hussle and soul of the game.” Or something like that.