Team Canada’s our team, not my team
The Canada-USA gold medal final is being billed as the biggest hockey game ever. It will not only define our nation, it will change our lives. It will transcend sports. It will be mythologized in this country forever. And if it falls short of any of those things, at the very least it will be the most watched event in Canadian television history.
Yet, just hours before game time, I gotta say, I don’t care if Canada wins.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this country. I want Canada to win. I hope Canada wins. But if I’m going to be honest with myself as a sports fan, I’d gladly trade Canadian hockey gold for a Boston Bruins Stanley Cup.
While that makes no sense whatsoever — I’m not from Boston, I’ve never even set foot in Boston — what can I tell you? I’ve cheered for the Bruins my entire life. They are my team.
Most Canadians won’t be able to understand why I’d rather witness a seemingly random American team win the Cup over watching my own countrymen defeat our most hated rivals, but any real sports fan knows exactly how I feel.
Oilers fans, would you not settle for silver if it guaranteed you landing Taylor Hall in the draft?
Habs fans, what if I told you an American victory would put Scott Gomez on the next bus out of town?
Leafs fans, ahh nevermind. After 43 long years, if it meant a Stanley Cup, not only would you cheer against Team Canada, you would hold Wayne Gretzky down at centre ice while Brian Burke and Ron Wilson took turns ass-raping him.
Yes, while we all want Canada to defeat the States today, sports fans don’t give a shit (not really, anyway). This isn’t the 1972 Summit Series against the evil Russians, this isn’t our way of life versus theirs. This is simply a great game between NHL players. I mean, what’s really on the line here?
If the Americans win it’s not like anyone’s actually going to think they’re better at hockey than us. Our hockey dominance is indisputable. A U.S. win is nothing more than an upset; Burke and Wilson’s undying quest to be thought of as underdogs should at least accomplish that much.
If Canada wins, what? CTV sells a few more commemorative DVD box sets?
I guess Canadians across the country we’ll be able to share in victory, but I don’t want to share. Bragging rights are no fun without anyone to brag to. What are we going to drive up to the border and hang our asses out the window?
No, while Canadian hockey gold would bring the country together, a Bruins Stanley Cup would tear my friends apart inside.
Canada-USA might be the biggest hockey game ever, but it still can’t do that.
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6 Comments
Get a life Steve. Canada/US/Russia, If I can’t watch with sand in my hair and margarita in glass, who cares.
SPOT ON!! Thats exactly how i feel (especially that point on bragging rights, i hate sharing too!) , you’ve got to love this country, and the competition is tremendous at this years Olympics but, come on i really don’t care if Canada wins or USA. In fact, I’d be happy if USA won since the maple leafs is my utmost favorite team in the league. But I’d take another 7th place finish for Canada if it meant Toronto wins the Stanley cup!! (Please don’t take this as a sign that all maple leafs fans are this desperate.. its just me)
But that Gretzky – ass raping comment was a little too much.
I’ve been an oilers fan for 15 years, most of them while they stink.
I wouldn’t trade this gold medal for an Oilers cup win, let alone a chance at Taylor Hall.
Hockey is Canada’s game. The Oilers (and all NHL teams) are just paid mercenaries. Why exactly should I feel more sentimental attachment to them than a group of players representing my country?
You probably shouldn’t, but I do.
There you go then. You do feel that attachment for reasons you can’t really justify or explain. Fair enough, but don’t look at other people weirdly for getting a little sick of the mercenary aspect of the NHL.
In international hockey, I cheer for the players and the laundry, and the whole country. In the NHL, I cheer for the laundry. If Edmonton wins the cup, I’m not really gonna care about what it means for the people of Edmonton.
I’d gladly sacrifice a Canadian gold if it meant I didn’t have to listen to everybody talk about how much they love Canada for a couple of weeks every 4 years. Temporary patriotism does not a patriot make.