Hockey Canada finds some of Crosby’s gear

A day after Reebok offered a $10,000 reward for the return of the stick and a glove Sidney Crosby used to score his “Golden Goal” at the Vancouver Olympics last Sunday, Hockey Canada looks to be closing in on the culprit after a young boy came forward with new information.

On Saturday, Simon O’Neill, the 8-year-old son of Team Canada’s head equipment manager Paul O’Neill, told Canadian officials that he witnessed TSN’s Pierre McGuire snooping around Crosby’s hockey bag after the players and coaches had already left to board the team bus.

“I wasn’t supposed to be back there, so at first I was scared to come forward,” said the younger O’Neill, “but I definitely saw Mr. McGuire put something in his pocket.”

Following a two-hour search of McGuire’s Montreal home, police found the item in question.

Sid the Kid’s jockstrap.

“Yes, while Mr. McGuire was in possession of Sidney’s jock, he does not appear to know the whereabouts of the glove and stick,” said Hockey Canada president Bob Nicholson.

“Unfortunately, the search continues.”

After interrogating McGuire, police do not expect to file charges.

“While the jock theft showed poor judgment, Pierre told us he just wanted a souvenir from the big game,” said Montreal police chief Jacques Duchesneau.

When police asked McGuire why he chose a sweaty jockstrap for his souvenir, the TSN hockey analyst proudly showed-off his extensive collection.

“His basement’s like a freakin’ Jockstrap Hall of Fame,” said Duchesneau. “He’s got them all. Zach Parise, Dion Phaneuf, even fourth liners like Glen Metropolit. You can really tell the man’s got a passion for hockey.”

Boasting that he now has over 150 cups in his collection, McGuire said his most prized item is Mario Lemieux’s jock from the Penguins Cup-winning 1992 season.

“I was with the club at the time, so that particular jockstrap brings back a lot of great memories,” said the former Penguins scout. “And wouldn’t you know, it still smells the same after all these years.”

While the other players have yet to be contacted, Crosby has no problem with the theft.

“I guess it’s kind of weird, but it’s also kind of an honour,” said Crosby. “I’m just glad they found it.”

Now, if they could only find his stick and glove.

(This story is complete bullshit. All quotes are made up for your enjoyment.)