STEVECENTRE (wk of March 9): SteveCentre cancelled

Sighting low hit counts and threats from affiliates, The Steve Network has decided to cancel SteveCentre after only one week.

“I don’t know what we were thinking,” said Steve Network President and CEO Jeff Zucker. “Steve’s way too lazy to be counted on to post daily links.”

Calling it “the biggest blogging bomb of all-time,” Entertainment Weekly critic Ken Tucker said SteveCentre was doomed from the beginning.

“Half the stuff he posted was old news, while the other half just wasn’t that interesting,” said Tucker. “I mean, that guy’s got a serious hard-on for Letterman.”

Zucker said he hopes Steve Starr will stay on with the website, although in a reduced capacity. To fill the hole in their line-up, industry insiders are reporting that Zucker has asked Steve Network correspondent Aaron Alguire to take on a bigger role.

“Aaron’s chip article carried that website for a week,” said EW’s television insider Michael Ausiello. “And not only was the Detective Draft his idea, his team is now heavily favoured in the polls.”

When asked if he was considering changing the name of the website to The Aaron Network, Zucker declined to comment. “We’ll see,” he said.

Steve Starr, described by many as a “lonely recluse” or “the broke Howard Hughes,” is expected to announce the scale back in Friday’s edition of SteveCentre.

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Yeah, let’s try two or three times a week. Until then:

1. Bret Hart was on Off The Record Thursday to talk about his recent return to the WWE. My favourite OTRs, and historically some of the highest-rated, have been the wrestling-themed shows. Ironically, Landsberg doesn’t even like wrestling. Considering he does some of his best interviews with these guys, always asking the right questions and appearing genuinely interested in their answers, you’d definitely never know it.

If you don’t have time to watch the Hart interview, here are some highlights:

On Shawn Michaels: “When I met Shawn that day and basically forgave him in the middle of the ring in front of everybody it was far more real than people think. I know everything in wrestling seems like it’s rehearsed or a put-on a lot of time, but with Shawn that day it was very sincere in the way we were talking with each other. I always had this feeling that I’d see Shawn prancing around after and think that it didn’t really mean anything to him, that he was still a little jerk, that it would bother me and then I would feel like I sold myself out, but the truth is once I kind of took all that weight off of Shawn’s back, he’s been a better person… to me anyway, and we’ve kind of picked up where we left off and we’re like old friends like we were once upon a time.” Hart also said this earlier in the interview: “I think (the handshake in the middle of the ring) was a real weight off his back. I believe in my own little way that I set Shawn free that day.” (Okay Hitman, let’s not get crazy here.)

On Rick Flair: “I feel sorry for him…I think wrestlers make this decision, I’m sure Hogan’s the same, where they decide to go home to their family or to stay in the wrestling business and Flair stayed in the wrestling business, forgot about his family, and his family moved on and left him. The only thing Rick Flair knows is the dressing room, the airports, the bar after and drinking.”

When asked if he liked Triple H: “Like would be to big a word…We were never close friends.”

On his dead friends: “I imagined when I was 52 years old I’d be sitting on my back porch with Curt Hennig and Owen and Davey Boy having a few beers, laughing about the old times, but I found one of the hardest parts of my retirement is that everyone I know died. There’s hardly any of them around anymore. And the ones who are around, most of them are train wrecks…The kids today seem like they’re in bed by 11…they’re much more focused than we were, much smarter.”

2. CBS’ Early Show anchor Harry Smith made history by becoming the first person to have a colonoscopy on live network television Wednesday morning. I’m guessing nobody’s clicking on that link. By bringing awareness to the issue, I suppose Smith is helping save lives, but still, that’s not the kind of TV history you want make. If he didn’t do it, we could have easily went another 50 years without seeing inside some dude’s colon.

That said, after seeing Smith’s silky smooth colon, I can’t help but want to take a peek at Tom Brokaw’s or maybe even Lloyd Robertson’s. “Come here, you gotta see this. Mansbridge’s colon is awesome!!!”

CBS News anchor Katie Couric, who lost her husband to colon cancer 12 years ago, was also in the room with Smith. Watch her destroy the weather guy after he tried to make light of the televised colonoscopy.

3. Last night, Donald Trump complimented Letterman on his handling of his blackmailer Robert “Joe” Halderman:

4. Since, as always, I’m on the topic of late-night talk shows, might as well mention former New York congressman Eric J. Massa. Unless Dick Cheney shoots another guy in the face, comedy writers won’t have an easier week of work this year. Massa, who resigned from Congress amid allegations of sexual misconduct, is said to have groped several male aides in his office. He vehemently denied any wrongdoing in an interview with Fox News’ Glenn Beck, but as you probably saw by now, he did admit to tickling guys. Here is perhaps the best denial of all-time:

“Now they are saying I groped a male staffer,” he told Mr. Beck. “Yeah, I did. Not only did I grope him. I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe, and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. It was kill the old guy. You can take anything out of context.”

When I first saw this story, I thought it was odd that Massa was a Democrat, after all, this type of homosexual hanky panky is usually reserved for Republicans. Then, I read that he was a Republican until 2006 when he switched parties over his opposition to the Iraq war. And… my world now makes sense again.

On Wednesday, Larry King asked him straight-up if he was gay, and for the second time, he put his denial skills to great use:

King: “Are you gay?”

Massa: “I’m not going to answer that. In the year 2010? Why don’t you ask my wife, ask my friends, ask the 10,000 sailors I served with in the Navy.”

Ouch, and he was doing so well.

5. Tim Tebow scored below-average on the Wonderlic test with only 22 points out of a possible 50. Which of course means, absolutely nothing. While it’s always fun to hear that these soon-to-be millionaires are dumb as shit, athletes’ scores seems to have no bearing on how they perform in the NFL. For instance, Hall of Famers Dan Marino and Jim Kelly both scored a 15, while under-achieving top draft picks like the 49ers’ Alex Smith and the Cards’ Matt Leinart scored 40 and 35, respectively. In 2006, Vince Young made headlines by scoring a ridiculously low 6 out of 50. While it hasn’t come easy, Young does have a career record of 27-13.

6. Angels outfielder Torii Hunter has apologized for referring to Latinos as “impostors” while discussing the number of African-Americans in the major leagues. Here’s his original quote: “People see dark faces out there, and the perception is that they’re African-American. They’re not us. They’re impostors. Even people I know come up and say: ‘Hey, what color is Vladimir Guerrero? Is he a black player?’ I say, ‘Come on, he’s Dominican. He’s not black.’”

While it’s refreshing to hear a black guy in trouble for discussing race, it’s easy to see what Hunter meant. African-American players account for only 10.2 percent of all major leaguers, but because of Latinos, most people would assume that number is much higher. The easiest comparison is the “impostor” white guys in the NBA.  Sure they’re white, but they’re also European.

Hunter’s next quote is more troubling: “As African-American players, we have a theory that baseball can go get an imitator and pass them off as us. It’s like they had to get some kind of dark faces, so they go to the Dominican or Venezuela because you can get them cheaper. It’s like, ‘Why should I get this kid from the South Side of Chicago and have Scott Boras represent him and pay him $5 million when you can get a Dominican guy for a bag of chips?’ … I’m telling you, it’s sad,” he said.

This quote is reminiscent of Gary Sheffield’s in 2007. In an interview with GQ, Sheffield said Latin players have replaced African-Americans as baseball’s most prevalent minority because they are easier to control.

Always outspoken White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, a Venezuelan, offered a more logical explanation (surprisingly):  “In our country, we play baseball. That’s no choice. Here you can play basketball, you can be another athlete, you can do so many things when you have the opportunity. And that’s why there’s not many (African-American) players out there.”

7. The cast of Jersey Shore will be in Miami for its second season.

8. After showing they knew nothing about comedy by bringing back Leno, it was a relief to see the NBC renew Community for a second season. The comedy only averages 5.7 million viewers, but the network liked that it attracted a heavy concentration of upscale viewers. Well, if they don’t include me. Either way, Chevy Chase might be the funniest guy on TV.

STEVECENTRE (03/10/10): RANDOM GARBAGE

1. You have to see this Italian TV news fight. These guys really go at it:

2. Lakers:

a) Kobe Bryant hit the game-winning shot against the Raptors last night. Here’s a 2-minute video of all Kobe’s game-winners this season, courtesy NBA TV.

b) After a barber went through the trouble of writing the word “defence” on Ron Artest’s head in three different languages, Artest shaved it all off the next day following a woeful 2-for-10 shooting performance. Unfortunately for him though, you can still see the purple letters on his scalp.

3. Hockey:

a) Ryan Kesler is the cover boy for NHL2K11. Be sure to pre-order your copy today.

b) You get enough headshot news elsewhere, but I thought I’d share a Sportscentre board from Monday night. That’s a lot of concussions.

c) “Man’s man” Joffrey Lupul also tweeted this yesterday: “Hitting people in the head w/ ur shoulder is part of NHL hockey. We’re big boys. Discuss.” Then later, in another, “Keep it a mans game.” Let that be a warning to all you NHLers out there, keep your head up when the freight train that is Joffrey Lupul is on the ice.

d) Penguins GM Ray Shero defended Crosby for not appearing on Letterman.

4. Robert “Joe” Halderman, the producer for CBS’ 48 Hours Mystery who tried to blackmail Letterman for $2 million to keep quiet about his workplace love life, pleaded guilty in exchange for six months in jail and community service.

5. Conan’s longtime sidekick and Tonight Show announcer Andy Richter was the latest to rip Leno. On Live with Regis and Kelly, Richter said among other things:

“It’s very frustrating when somebody says…and especially when they’re on videotape saying, ‘I’m gonna take this No. 1 show and hand it over and hope that the next guy makes it a No. 1 show.’ And then doesn’t. And says things like, ‘Well, I didn’t have any choice. They wouldn’t let me out of my contract.’

“Which…you know how multimillionaires are always being forced to do things they don’t want to do. It’s frustrating. It’s very frustrating.”

6. The most fucked-out show on TV, 24, might finally be canceled after the conclusion of its eighth season this year.

7. Old-Timer News:

a) Robert DeNiro’s going to play Vince Lombardi in a new movie.

b) KISS is developing a children’s TV show with Canadian studio E1 entertainment. I could see Pete Townsend wanting to do this, but Gene Simmons?

c) According to a new book, Mick Jagger might have had sex with Angelina Jolie.

d) In this clip from TNA Wrestling, a soon to be 51-year-old Sting turns heel on a 56-year-old Hulk Hogan while 61-year-old Rick Flair watches on.

8. I mentioned yesterday that Owens and McNabb will be basketball teammates on SpikeTV’s Pro’s vs. Joes. Antonio Gates will also be on their team as they face Hakeem Olajuwon, Rick Fox and TNT’s Kenny Smith. On PTI, Wilbon was willing to bet a $1,000 on the former basketball players, while Kornheiser said the younger football players would win handily.

9. Apparently this Intel ad debuted during the Super Bowl, but I saw it for the first time while watching a brutal episode of Lost last night. While not hilarious, for a computer ad it’s funny. Not to mention, effective.

10. Last but not least, it’s the Ally bank commercial featuring those cute kids. If your friends are anything like mine, they love these commercials. Everytime one came on during the football season someone had to mention how much they liked it. This happened at least 20 times in the past three or four months. No exaggeration.

Well, according to this old story I should’ve looked up eight months ago, the commercial was shot using hidden cameras. While the fat kid was apparently acting, the girl in the pony ad was not an actress. I’ve posted the three ads below, but until just hours ago, I had only seen the first two.

Bonus: I also saw this sweet Afro dog while watching The Westminster Dog Show. No Greg Louganis sighting today though.

STEVECENTRE (03/09/10): Hairy legs, Greg Louganis, Cromartie’s kids

Another exciting day at SteveCentre. What better way to start than showing you a Kathy Ireland before and after? I’m sorry to stay on this, but after seeing her and Cameron Diaz at the Oscars, I had to hook my penis up to an IV drip. While I slowly nurse it back to health, try to stay busy at work by reading this:

1. At the risk of becoming the Billy Bush of the blogging world, I’m again starting with Oscar news.

a) Remember when that crazy white lady interrupted the black guy’s acceptance speech? You can see the video and the story behind the reverse-Kanye here. Apparently the lady didn’t make it to the stage on time because the director’s 87-year-old mother blocked her path with her cane.

b) An update on Mo’Nique’s hairy legs courtesy of Jimmy Kimmel:

c) Another good Kimmel bit, Best Actor in an Informercial. Worth watching just to see the Wonder Boner:

d) Geez, when did I become Jimmy Kimmel’s biggest fan? Oh right, when he obliterated Jay Leno. Anyway, here’s a short Oscar skit from Letterman last night. They’ve done this kind of thing before, but it works everytime, so why not:

2. Speaking of Letterman, Sid the Kid turned down a chance to present a Top Ten last week. Apparently it wasn’t the first time Crosby rejected a request from the Late Show. Which can only mean one thing…Crosby’s a Leno. Nooooo!!!! Gold-medal hero or not, he’s now forever scarred with the mark of Jay (much like Harry Potter who has that lightning bolt on his forehead). Well, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, Crosby’s about as interesting as a puck. Click here to watch my newest enemy on Leno in 2005.

3. Ovechkin snapped a season-high, six-game goal drought in a 4-3 shootout loss to the Stars last night. His 44th ties him with Crosby for the league lead. Of more interest, apparently his mom cut his hair before the game.

4. Hmm, you think Ben Roethlisberger is guilty? His new hot-shot attorney Ed Garland previously represented rapper T.I. on a federal weapons charge and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis in a murder case. Why didn’t he just dig up Johnny Cochran or ask The Wire’s Maurice Levy if he was available?

5. You probably saw the footage of the Berlin poker robbery by now, but if not, I posted two videos below. Police are reporting that the “small-time crooks” used a machete and a handgun, and left a shitload of DNA evidence at the scene. Someone get Ed Garland on the phone! The best part of all this is it happened on live television. I know, amazing right. Imagine, poker actually being exciting to watch. Incredible.

6. A couple things from Deadspin, the website that makes what I’m doing here pretty much irrelevant:

a) Proving once again that the only point of watching NASCAR is for the crashes, here’s a great recap (with video) of the history between Carl Edwards and Brad Keselowski. Edwards bumped Keselowski in Sunday’s race in Atlanta, sending the dude flying at 190 mph. Sort of makes this whole head-shots debate seem a bit gay, doesn’t it?

b) MSNBC’s Keith Olberman and the Sports Guy Bill Simmons have a nice war of words going. Last week Simmons wrote a much-derided article comparing the comebacks of Muhammad Ali and Tiger Woods. This week, Olberman called him “the most uncontrollable, unmanageable talent in the history of ESPN.”

7. Winner of least surprising headline of the day: “Will & Grace’s Sean Hayes: I’m Gay.”

8. Winner of my favourite headline of the month: “Mickey Rourke’s Sex Marathon: 14 Women, One Night.” Rourke told a British TV reporter, “I once spent a weekend in the UK and had 14 women in one night.” This is the same guy who, in his Golden Globes Best Actor speech for The Wrestler, wouldn’t shut up about his dogs. “Sometimes when you’re alone,” he said, “all you got is your dog and they meant the world to me.” Alone? Here I was feeling sorry for the guy last year. I’ve clearly been duped.

9. Random sports stories:

a) The PGA has finally banned the 20-year-old Ping wedges with the square-shaped grooves. This is the club Phil Mickelson was called “a cheater” for using.

b) Jason Kendall is divorcing his wife and luckily for us, she’s fighting dirty, alleging the Royals catcher used Adderall, an amphetamine that is commonly prescribed to those who are diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.

c) McNabb and Owens will team up on the basketball court in Spike TV’s Pros vs. Joes.

d) Antonio Cromartie, the cornerback who father seven kids by six different women in five different states (which would make a great road trip movie by the way) is apparently receiving help with his paternity payments from the Jets.

10. And finally, I was watching Purina’s Incredible Dog Challenge yesterday and who do I see? None other than Greg Louganis, the openly gay Olympic gold-medalist diver who once cracked his head on a diving board and spilled AIDS blood into the pool. While Magic Johnson gets all the press for his remarkable longevity, Louganis tested HIV positive in 1988. 22 years later, he’s out there chasing a small dog around with a full, luscious head of hair. Come on, how’s that fair? I’m practically bald and have trouble getting out of bed.

STEVECENTRE (03/08/10): Oscars, Kimmel, SNL, Artest’s new hair

So…while I nailed all the categories anyone cares about, my big Oscar predictions didn’t go so well. 16 out of 24. Apologies to everyone who lost a toonie backing the sad, pathetic horse that is me. You’ve learned your lesson.

Okay, as I said Saturday, SteveCentre will be a place you can catch-up on pop culture and sports. If you have a life, this will be very helpful, if you follow sports and entertainment as closely as I do, then it won’t. Let’s go:

1. Jimmy Kimmel continues to capitalize on big events on ABC. By coming on after the Super Bowl, finales for shows like The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars, and last night, The Academy Awards, Kimmel’s able to showcase himself to potential new viewers. He does an incredible job of this by creating theme shows catered to fans of whatever program he’s following. Last Monday, following the finale of The Bachelor, Kimmel aired a pretty good bit involving Bachelor Jake picking out a donut, while last night he ran his latest star-studded sketch, “The Handsome Men’s Club.” Because of the popularity of the “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, celebrities are now chomping at the bit to get in these things. That one was loaded with pretty boys.

2. According to those who actually get paid to blog about this crap for a living, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin didn’t make the fantastic hosting duo everyone thought they would. However, as a fan of both guys, I thought they had some witty repartee. And while their performances seemed scaled back, as if they wrote their monologue on the plane ride over, at least they weren’t Hugh Jackman. If you missed it, here’s their opening:

3. Other Oscar thoughts:

a) What happened to Kathy Ireland? During her days as an SI swimsuit model, and before I was able to get my hands on real porn, she was my go-to model. Now, instead of giving stiffies, she just looked plain stiff on ABC’s pre-Oscar show. Just an awful thing to witness.

b) If age and babies hurt Kathy’s looks, Botox murdered Cameron Diaz’s. The director of her new movie, Knight and Day with Tom Cruise, must have called in the Avatar guys for post-production CGI on her face. All and all, a sad day to be a man. Except…

c) Kathryn Bigelow, the Academy Award-winning director of The Hurt Locker, which won five other Oscars including Best Picture, is smoking hot. Which is weird because the wife of her ex-husband, James Cameron, looks like that creepy lady from the Shutter Island trailer. Come on Jimmy, you got it backwards. When you’re rich and successful you’re supposed to dump your wife for a hotter version, not some grandma you met in the grocery store.

d) T Bone Burnett, who shared the award for Best Original Song with Ryan Bingham, looked like James Cameron’s doppelganger. Only with shades.

e) On the Barbara Walters Oscars Special, Mo’Nique announced she didn’t shave her legs. Imagine being her husband? She didn’t shave her legs before, now she’s won an Oscar. Safe to say the man’s received his last blow-job.

f) Bonus Jimmy Kimmel joke: “You know who really hated the Oscars this year? The kids from Slumdog…it’s the last time they ate.”

g) Does Brian Mulroney even turn on his TV on nights like this? Ben = national embarrassment.

4. Howard Stern said Jay Leno “makes him want to vomit” on the CBS’ Early Show last week. I love it when he does this. It’s a must-watch:

Hey, I said it was a must-watch. Okay then, if you insist on not caring, here’s just one of many dynamite Stern quotes:

“Jay is also a thief, and that’s what gets me,” Stern said. “That’s what gets my goat the most. You know, I’ve always considered myself an original. I consider Dave an original, David Letterman. I think he’s a pioneer. David Letterman once said in an interview—he started putting his mother on the air—and he said, you know, ‘I got that from Howard Stern.’ I admire that. Jay takes and lifts bits directly from my show, directly from Dave’s show…They don’t have an original thought on that show.”

5. According to The Wrap, Conan O’Brien is finalizing plans to hit the road in the next few months, performing live shows across the US (and perhaps Canada, who knows). Since Conan’s exit-contract with NBC prevents him from appearing on television until September, this will be a good way for him to stay sharp, and more importantly, remain in the public eye.

On Friday, Conan also announced he was going to make Sarah Killen the one and only person he’s following on Twitter.

“I’ve decided to follow someone at random. She likes peanut butter and gummy dinosaurs. Sarah Killen, your life is about to change.”

More TV news, the HBO series Rome may be headed to the big screen. And Jesse Plemons (Landry) didn’t get his contract renewed for season 5 of Friday Night Lights, although you can still see him in Season 4 if you haven’t downloaded it yet.

6. Zach Galifianakis hosted SNL for the first time over the weekend, instantly becoming one of their best hosts in recent memory. It probably helps that he’s an actual comedian. Here’s his opening monologue and a funny bedet sketch:

7. Finally, on to sports. Don Cherry criticized the Leafs’ Colton Orr during Coach’s Corner on Saturday. Following a fight with Matt Carkner, Orr waved three fingers in the air, claiming his third victory in four fights vs. the Sens tough guy. Cherry’s comments: “I’m so disappointed in Colton Orr, is there no honour left in this game? C’mon Carlton.”

Cherry constantly getting names wrong only makes him more entertaining in my book.

I had the brilliant idea of posting Orr and Carkner’s four fights, then I remembered that hockeyfights.com already does that. Damn. Anyway, click here if you want to score the bouts yourself.

8. Carey Price got pulled after allowing 3 goals on 11 shots versus Anaheim last night. Jaroslav Halak came in and they, of course, ended up winning the game. Halak also laid out defenceman Jaroslav Spacek. If the overly-sensitive Price did this to his own teammate, the Habs would have to hire a life coach just to get the kid’s spirits up:

This was also the first game Anaheim’s Saku Koivu played against his old club, but because he stinks, and always has, it’s hardly worth mentioning.

9. Check out Ron Artest’s new hairstyle. Apparently, the writing on his head symbolizes defence in Hebrew, Japanese and Hindi. knew I shouldn’t have put those photos on facebook, the bastard stole my look.

STEVECENTRE (03/06/10): Did Dreger miss the Gold Medal Game?

Since I’ve already anointed myself “Canada’s Sports Follower,” I’ve decided to start posting daily links to stuff you might find interesting in the world of sports and entertainment. More like a traditional blog I guess. The Darren Dreger news is near the bottom.

1. You probably heard that Chelsea captain John Terry slept with teammate Wayne Bridge’s baby mama, prompting Bridge’s to quit England’s national team. On Friday, Henry was tricked into apologizing by a couple fans with a camera.

2. Matt Damon was on Letterman last night wearing a Saints jersey. Damon, who’s a lifelong Patriots fan, said he lost a bet to actor Anthony Mackie (The Hurt Locker). Not sure if this is the start of a celebrity trend, but after losing a bet of his own, Kiefer Sutherland showed up on The Late Show in a dress in early January. Later in the interview, when Damon said he’d surely lose the Best Supporting Actor category to Inglourious Basterds’ Christoph Waltz this Sunday, Letterman quickly replied, “You know why?…People love Nazis.” While that’s not included in the clip (wonder why?), check out Damon’s always fantastic Matthew McConaughey impersonation.

3. Staying with Matt Damon, a couple weeks ago he and Ben Affleck signed a deal to co-star in a new movie about the two Yankees pitchers, Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich, who caused a national scandal by swapping wives in the sexually-free 1970s. This could be funny for two reasons. 1) Both guys love the Red Sox; 2) With these two it’s entirely possible that during the wife-swapping scenes, they’ll completely ignore the women and be all over each other.

4. While Anquan Boldin was traded to the Ravens and Julius Peppers signed with the Bears, the NFL headline that grabbed me concerns new Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie. He has seven children in five states by six different women, which apparently ties Shawn Kemp. I’m not kidding, check out this list of The Top 10 Athletes with the Most Illegitimate Children. In other free agent news, the Giants made safety Antrel Rolle the highest-paid safety in NFL history, while Miami signed linebacker Karlos Dansby. After already losing Kurt Warner and Anquan Boldin, it’s safe to say the Cards will stink next year.

5. Following his release, Jake Delhomme and the entire Panthers organization cried like babies. Sorry Bills fans, I have a funny feeling that Jake the Snake is coming to town.

6. A Russian chimpanzee has been sent to rehab by zookeepers to cure the smoking and beer-drinking habits it has picked up. According to The Daily Telegraph, the monkey would “pester passers-by for booze.” When I Googled this story, I also found a great video of a smoking chimp from 2005. Definitely check that one out.

7. Here’s Manny Pacquiao singing on Jimmy Kimmel:

Kimmel has the market cornered for this kind of thing. You probably remember the Mike Tyson/Bobby Brown “Monster Mash” performance, especially considering TSN puts it in one of their Top Ten lists every second week.

8. Speaking of Iron Mike, Tyson/Holyfield 3 is apparently a hoax.

9. Check out TSN’s Rod Black admiring Gretzky (Onrait and O’Toole commented on this) after he was presented with an honourary Raptors jersey Friday night.

10. TSN’s Top 10 Must-See Moments of the Week features that women’s basketball punch everybody’s talking about. The puncher, Brittney Griner, is an absolute beast. She looks like she could be Joakim Noah’s twin sister. Here’s a clip of the 6-foot-8 Baylor freshman blocking and dunking.

11.The CFL Coach of the Year was awarded to Montreal’s Marc Trestman on Friday, more than 3 months after the season ended. Why do they do this?

12. Reebok is offering a $10,000 reward for the return of Sidney Crosby’s glove and stick. No word yet on if they’ll be bringing in John Walsh to assist with the search.

13. And if you missed it Thursday, listen to Ray Ferraro rip Maxim Lapierre for his dirty hit on the Sharks Scott Nichol. This is the second time this year a TSN personality went after the Habs forward. During a game versus Boston in early November, Pierre McGuire essentially called Lapierre a coward when he ran from a fight with defenceman Andrew Ference. The next day Lapierre responded sarcastically on RDS: ”Coming from someone who fought a lot in his NHL career, I feel I need to listen to him.” TSN was going to run a dubbed version of Lapierre’s comments, but McGuire asked the network not to.

14. In other inside TSN news, Darren Dreger was one of the few Canadians who missed Sidney Crosby’s “Golden Goal” versus the Americans last Sunday. He was actually on a flight back to Toronto in case any big NHL trades happened Monday morning. As a guy who routinely publishes fake stories, I don’t know how I can convince you this is true, but trust me, I know stuff.

15. Don’t believe the new previews for Shutter Island that promise “a shocking twist.” While the film’s pretty good, if you don’t figure it out by the half-hour mark, you should probably stop watching movies. In fact, I had a friend who called the ending after watching the preview.

Okay, that’s it for now. I’ll be doing one of these daily from now on.