Japanese fishermen strike back

Just a week after The Cove won the Academy Award for Best Documentary, Japanese fishermen have released a film of their own.

Where The Cove shined a light on the dolphin-hunting village of Taiji, Japan, The Coast aims to expose the atrocities now going on off the coast of Florida.

In The Cove, Japanese fishermen herd dolphins by banging on long metal poles — creating, in essence, a wall of sound. Once the dolphins are driven close to shore, captured and penned, dolphin trainers assemble the animals they want for aquariums. The remaining animals are slaughtered for their meat. While the process sounds gruesome, The Coast’s director Woody Allen says his footage is every bit as alarming.

“It took an elite team of activists, filmmakers and freedivers using state-of-the-art techniques, including hidden microphones and cameras in fake rocks, to penetrate this remote area off the Florida coast,” said Allen, who insists he didn’t get paid for the film with young, nubile Asian women. “We have uncovered a massive ecological crime here that I can only hope will inspire worldwide audiences to action.”

In the film (which can be viewed below), bottlenose dolphins are shown slapping their tails against the ocean’s surface — much like the Japanese fishermen — stirring up the shallow silt. By swimming in a tight circle, these sinister dolphins create a ring of mushrooming mud that traps the shoal of fast swimming fish. Understandably panicked, the innocent fish jump to escape, but in a scene seemingly right out of the Holocaust, they land right into the mouths of the waiting dolphins.

“If you thought The Cove was a bloodbath, wait until you see this movie,” said Toyota president Akio Toyoda, who in an incredible string of bad luck also acts as the head of the Japanese Fishermens’ Union. “Now the whole world will finally understand why the Japanese are murdering these finned assholes.”

“This film will bring Sea World to its knees.”

(In all seriousness though, how cool is that dolphin footage?)