DREGER DOES IT AGAIN

If you’ve visited The Steve Network in the past month, you know you were more likely to see tumbleweed blowing across the screen than a fresh article, but I had to come out of blogging retirement for this one.

Darren Dreger, loved by Canadians for his inability to tell us anything we don’t already know, has outdone himself yet again, making his boldest prediction yet!!!

“I think Chicago will win the Stanley Cup Final in six games, or the Flyers will win in seven,” explained Dreger while rotating gently on his white picket fence. “Because of the power of the Blackhawks, if they prevail it’s going to be because it’s a short series. That being said I also respect the relentless nature of the Philadelphia Flyers, and I believe that the Flyers can stretch this series to a seven-game format. If it goes to a Game 7, then because of the level of ‘believe’ inside that Flyers organization, I’m giving the edge to Philadelphia.”

“Having said that… even though Chicago doesn’t have that “level of believe,” whatever the hell that means, I like the Blackhawks to sweep the Flyers in 4 games,” continued Dreger. “Wait, wait, but if it goes 5, you gotta like Philly. So, in recap, I have Chicago in 4, or Philly in 5, or the Hawks in 6, or the Flyers in 7. You got all that?”

Luckily for us, Canada’s Ashton Kutcher didn’t stop there, as he was nice enough to tweet a few more of his fearless calls. Take a look:

“I think LeBron James won’t be able to avoid the New York spotlight, but Chicago has enough pieces to make that an attractive destination, while his level of ‘loyalty’ is high, so he just might stay in Cleveland. For TSN, I’m Darren Dreger.”

“I felt the ending of Lost tied the series up perfectly, but I have to admit many things still don’t make sense. I give it one out of four stars, and two enthusiastic thumbs up. For TSN, I’m Darren Dreger.“

“I think either Mexico, France, Argentina, England, Germany, Italy, Brazil, Portugal or Spain will win this year’s World Cup. But don’t count out the Netherlands, the Swiss, the United States or South Korea” (end of tweet).

(beginning of next tweet) “Sorry, I got cut off there. Because of their compete-level, I also like Nigeria, Serbia, Japan and Greece, although in my heart I’m pulling for Denmark, Cameroon and New Zealand. I warn you, however, don’t sleep on the Ivory Coast, the Kim Jong-ils, Paraguay, the Aussies, Nigeria or Ghana. For TSN, I’m Darren Dreger.”

“I always thought Carrie belonged with Aidan, but Mr. Big is perfect for her. For TSN, I’m Darren Dreger.”

“The Oilers will definitely pick Tyler Seguin… unless they select Taylor Hall. For TSN, I’m Darren Dreger.“

“BP’s “top-kill” effort to stop the Gulf of Mexico oil leak is doomed to fail, but I think it just might work. For TSN, I’m Darren Dreger.“

“Gary Coleman went to hell. For TSN, I’m Darren Dreger.”