While reports have the NHL realigning for the 2011-12 season, I have yet to read a plan that makes sense. Most articles have Detroit moving East and leaving its historic rivalry with the Blackhawks behind, others say there will off-balanced conferences (16 teams in the East, 14 in the West), and some preposterous write-ups even place the Penguins and Flyers in the same division as the Lightning and Hurricanes.
Well, I for one have had enough, and since no one can seem to piece this puzzle together, I decided to come out of blogging retirement and figure this thing out myself. How did I do it?… I looked at a damn map.
If you’ve visited The Steve Network in the past month, you know you were more likely to see tumbleweed blowing across the screen than a fresh article, but I had to come out of blogging retirement for this one.
Darren Dreger, loved by Canadians for his inability to tell us anything we don’t already know, has outdone himself yet again, making his boldest prediction yet!!!
So, I finally got to reading the Sports Illustrated article on Ben Roethlisberger, and I gotta say, I think he’s probably innocent of sexual assault, but who knows? The real takeaway from Jack McCallum’s piece seems to be that rapist or not, Big Ben is an asshole. If you haven’t read the story, here are a couple of my favourite parts:
1) The 20-year-old Georgia college student who accused Roethlisberger of rape was wearing a name tag that read DTF, short for Down to F—.
It really is a shame that this thing didn’t go to trial. In my imagined scenario, all the evidence would point to Roethlisberger being guilty. Ripped panties, semen stains, forcible entry, the works – an OJ-like slam dunk of a case. Then, with the young lady on the stand, Ben’s hot shot attorney asks, “But your name tag did say, “Down to F—” right?”
Just hours after completing one of the biggest upsets in NHL history, Canadiens coach Jacques Martin announced that Carey Price will get the start against the Penguins on Friday.
“Jaraslav (Halak) was obviously wonderful in the the past three games,” said Martin in a Thursday morning press conference, “but we feel if given just one more chance, Price will come through for us.”
Martin said he was leaning towards Halak, the netminder who stopped 131 of 134 shots (.978 save percentage) over the final three games against Washington, before talking to his former boss Bob Gainey.
After Taylor Hall’s overtime winner gave Windsor a 4-3 victory over Barrie in Game 1 of the OHL Final, Colts fans littered the ice with Kraft Dinner. Not surprisingly, historians are already calling the event “the quintessential Canadian moment.”
“Hockey and Kraft Dinner,” said pop culture expert Timothy Schmitz. “That’s like Bryan Adams having sex with a beaver while drinking a Molson Canadian. Incredible!”
During TSN’s broadcast of Montreal’s 4-1 Game 6 win over the Caps on Monday, James Duthie jumped in with an update, informing viewers that Mark Recchi’s 3rd goal of the postseason had given the Bruins a 2-1 lead over the Sabres. No one was more excited by this news than Pierre McGuire.
“Hot yoga has saved Mark Recchi’s career Gord,” proclaimed McGuire. “I think every player in the league should have to do hot yoga.”
I wish I had the transcript of the entire conversation for you, but as you can probably guess, it ended with Miller having to forcibly remove McGuire’s hand from his lap.
Cheer up Sens fans. Sure you’re going to lose Anton Volchenkov because you’re paying Filip Kuba, Jonathan Cheechoo and Alex Kovalev a combined $11.7 million next season, sure the face of your franchise, Daniel Alfredsson, will turn 38 next year, and sure your highest paid player — Jason Spezza will make $7 million in each of the next five years — rarely plays like your best player, but forget all that. I have great news… Dany Heatley throws like a little girl. Worse than a little girl actually:
Wayne Gretzky watched the Canucks close out the Kings in person Sunday night. Unfortunately for The Great One, however, neither his wife or his old buddy Bruce McNall would pay any attention to him.
According to reports, Bruce was busy working on a shady business deal, while Janet used her blackberry to win a cool $5,000 on PartyPoker.com.
Poor Gretzky, he really needs the Red Wings to pull out a win Tuesday night.
While reports have the NHL realigning for the 2011-12 season, I have yet to read a plan that makes sense. Most articles have Detroit moving East and leaving its historic rivalry with the Blackhawks behind, others say there will off-balanced conferences (16 teams in the East, 14 in the West), and some preposterous write-ups even place the Penguins and Flyers in the same division as the Lightning and Hurricanes.
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