So, I finally got to reading the Sports Illustrated article on Ben Roethlisberger, and I gotta say, I think he’s probably innocent of sexual assault, but who knows? The real takeaway from Jack McCallum’s piece seems to be that rapist or not, Big Ben is an asshole. If you haven’t read the story, here are a couple of my favourite parts:
1) The 20-year-old Georgia college student who accused Roethlisberger of rape was wearing a name tag that read DTF, short for Down to F—.
It really is a shame that this thing didn’t go to trial. In my imagined scenario, all the evidence would point to Roethlisberger being guilty. Ripped panties, semen stains, forcible entry, the works – an OJ-like slam dunk of a case. Then, with the young lady on the stand, Ben’s hot shot attorney asks, “But your name tag did say, “Down to F—” right?”
While the Broncos made headlines by trading up to draft Tim Tebow with the 25th pick, the 2010 NFL Draft will forever be remembered by the trade that almost happened.
According to Norm Hitzges, now The Steve Network’s NFL correspondent after being canned by TSN in favour of Chris Schultz years ago, the New York Jets had a deal in place for Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. The package was rumoured to include Mark Sanchez, New York’s 29th pick and a 2nd rounder in 2011.
New reports suggest that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is considering suspending Ben Roethlisberger after the Steelers quarterback failed to make a good impression in their much-anticipated closed-door meeting on Monday.
According to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, Roethlisberger, who is currently under police investigation for an alleged sexual assault of a 20-year-old college student in a Georgia bar, showed up to the NFL’s headquarters in Manhattan reeking of alcohol. When the commissioner invited him into his office, Big Ben is said to have instructed his bodyguards to watch the door.
“That’s when it happened,” said a dishevelled Goodell. “Closed-door meeting, how could I be so stupid?”
A lot of Canadians don’t remember me, but I was TSN’s NFL analyst before Chris Schultz. And let me tell you, no one picked football games better than this guy. Unfortunately, however, I wasn’t born with Schultzy’s charisma (who is really?) and was eventually replaced.
That’s why I’m ecstatic to be back at TSN. Once Steve Starr assured me that The Steve Network is affiliated with Canada’s Sports Leader, I jumped at the chance to rejoin the team. I’ll now be providing readers with unique insight and commentary on the NFL every couple weeks until I’m inevitably called-up to the main network. Sort of like a try-out, I guess. Let’s get started:
Look at that photo. What do you feel? Angry, disgusted, offended, or maybe… happy? I know I smiled. In fact, I’m gonna say it’s impossible not to smile when looking at that picture. Much like Capitals head coach Bruce Boudreau, there’s just something about it that’s inherently, unmistakably, funny as shit.
Which makes it all the more aggravating that the New York Jets decided to fine coach Rex Ryan $50,000 for giving some fan the middle finger at a mixed martial arts event last weekend in Miami. This, after he already took it upon himself to apologize for “an incident” that only in a hyper-sensitive, pussy media environment like ours could even be classified as one.
It’s the most tweeted and talked about story in the United States. Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow will star in a pro-life commercial during this year’s Super Bowl. In the 30-second ad, funded by Focus on the Family, Tebow and his mother tell the story of her high-risk pregnancy when she and her husband were missionaries in the Philippines. Advised to have an abortion, she chose life and Tim Tebow was born.
A potentially powerful message considering Tebow may be the best college football player in the history of the game. With two national championships and a Heisman Trophy under his belt, Tebow is not only a great leader, he’s the perfect role model for middle America. As a dedicated Christian, Tebow goes on missions to the Philippines, visits prisons, comforts children on their deathbeds, works with charities, and most famously, puts bible verses on his eye black. Oh yeah, and he’s a proud virgin, saving himself for marriage (a fact that seems even crazier when you see his girlfriend).
You can’t accuse Chan Gailey of not moving quickly. Just one day after being named the 15th head coach in Bills history — and fifth in 10 years — the Georgia native filled out his coaching staff with the help of first-time general manager Buddy Nix. Nix, who’s from Alabama, first crossed paths with Gailey way back in the 1970s when both began their football careers as college coaches in the south. Which, if you watched this press conference, you probably would’ve guessed.
So, who’d the two good ‘ol boys name to their staff?
On February 4, 2008, the golden boy Tom Brady was on the verge of capturing perfection. A win over the New York Giants would give him a 19-0 record, his fourth Super Bowl title and possibly his third Super Bowl MVP, all in a season where he threw 50 touchdown passes to break Peyton Manning’s old mark of 49. Winning a fourth Super Bowl ring by the age of 30 didn’t just mean he was better than Manning, it meant he was the best ever. The man didn’t lose. That is until he did.
More and more, the Patriots stunning 17-14 loss to the Giants in Super Bowl XLII seems destined to be remembered not as a blemish on Brady’s career, but the turning point in it.
Mike Kelly, former head coach of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, pled guilty to charges of domestic violence in a Philadelphia courtroom early Thursday morning.
Kelly appeared contrite, telling Judge Redfield T. Baum that the incident was completely out of character and will never happen again. Judge Baum then ordered Kelly to pay a $50 court surcharge and sent him on his way.
When outside the court, Kelly predictably turned hostile towards the media.
Well, the ruling is in and let’s face it, as far as rulings in a sexual assault case go you can’t get a much funnier headline than, “Tillman receives absolute discharge.” What?!! Isn’t that what he was after in the first place?
When this story broke over a year ago, Tillman assured us that there was “more to the story.” Turns out there wasn’t.
While Tillman’s 16-year-old babysitter bent down to feed one of his young children, Tillman put his fingers through the girl’s belt loops and pulled her rear end into him. You ask, “Why would a 52-year-old son of a Mississippi preacher do such a thing?” Back medication, of course. Tillman says he doesn’t remember anything due to a double dose of sleep aids and pain medication for a sore back.
And while many of you may laugh at that excuse, you must remember that on the back of every bottle of Robaxacet there’s a clear warning for overuse: “Robaxacet may cause nausea, dizziness, lightheadedness and a newfound lust to sodomize young girls.” (See, I never trusted those dancing wooden bastards.)
So, I finally got to reading the Sports Illustrated article on Ben Roethlisberger, and I gotta say, I think he’s probably innocent of sexual assault, but who knows? The real takeaway from Jack McCallum’s piece seems to be that rapist or not, Big Ben is an asshole. If you haven’t read the story, here are a couple of my favourite parts:
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